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Chapter One
Living the Nightmare
Sadie’s eyes fell on her father’s figure as he finished adjusting his ascot in the mirror. As the mayor of a small town, he took his role very seriously, and that included making sure he always looked dapper when he stepped out of the home. Since it was his forty-fifth birthday, she knew that he would attract plenty of extra attention when he left the house. The gray streaks starting around his temples made him look that much more distinguished; he was the perfect man to run such a quaint little town. They weren’t on the frontier, but they weren’t too far from it either. Boulder Ridge, Colorado was one of the last towns that was considered “civilized” before heading out into the great unknown. The place had continued to grow over the years, but with only a few hundred people, it wasn’t a metropolis like the cities where her father had taken her when she was young. Back when he had tried to get rid of her under the guise of wanting to get her help for her hearing. He never went through with it, and by the time she reached an age where he could marry her off, Sadie’s father had stopped trying to send her away from home.
Hope was blossoming in her chest as she looked at him, the idea that she was now old enough to help him, even if it was behind the scenes. A couple of times he had brought up the fact that she was at the prime age for marriage, but that wasn’t what she wanted. Sadie wanted to support her father until she found a man who would treat her well, instead of as a charity case. Or worse.
As this hope continued to grow, his eyes fell on her in the mirror, and she couldn’t help but notice that sad expression that flitted over his face. He hid it well, but Sadie knew it was there, especially now that she was an adult.
Her father looked away, almost as if he wanted to pretend he didn’t see her.
Hesitating before she spoke, Sadie finally said, “Hello, Father. Are you going out?”
The sigh was nearly undetectable, but Sadie saw the way his chest expanded to indicate his annoyance. He finally said, “Yes, Sadie. I will be going to make sure my constituents are still satisfied with me as their mayor. With re-election around the corner, I don’t want to be complacent. There’s still time for me to ensure they know I am the man who can take care of them. Please make sure you are ready for the party tonight.”
Nodding, she said, “I even bought a special dress for the event.”
His eyes met hers, and for a second, he just stared at her. Almost imperceptibly, her father shook his head, then muttered. “You look so much like her. If only she had survived. She should have been the one to survive.” Squeezing his eyes shut, Sadie’s father refused to look at her again. Moving away from the mirror, he picked up a few items from around the room, making it obvious that he didn’t want to talk to her.
Her heart sank as she turned and headed to her room. It didn’t make her feel any better that he thought she didn’t know what he had said. Sadie knew, and she knew what he meant.
Her mother had died during childbirth, and one of the last things she had done was to name Sadie. It had been a miracle that Sadie had actually survived—her father being important in town even back then had certainly helped as the medical professionals had worked hard to ensure that she survived. From the stories Sadie heard, her father had once been excited about her. It was a time when he thought that he would have a larger family with the woman he loved.
Instead, he lost his wife and ended up with a daughter who was nearly deaf.
Over the years, she had learned to read lips, mostly because she didn’t want to be any more of a burden to him. Her partial deafness allowed her to hear some sounds if they were loud enough. It seemed that she was constantly trying to make him happy, but nothing was ever good enough. As she entered her room, Sadie felt that familiar sadness. It was hardly the first time he had expressed that sentiment, a wish that Sadie had been the one to die—not her mother. Then, he could have potentially tried again for another child. Given how upset he still was about losing his wife, though, Sadie felt it was much more likely that they would not have had children if they had lost their first baby, but his wife had survived. It was clear from the way he spoke of his late wife that her father would almost certainly have refused to let her be compromised again.
Every time he looked at her, Sadie was a reminder of what he had lost. Especially now that she was an adult. She looked so much like the woman she had never met, but Sadie could not help him the same way. If her mother had survived, he would at least have a partner. Instead, all he had was a daughter who really didn’t support him in any way that mattered. Sadie had tried, but being unable to hear people had caused him problems in the past. As a result, he really only allowed her to come to major events to show off what was left of his family. She was of little use to him otherwise. It was clear that he felt the only benefit she could offer was to marry someone who could improve his standing, which made no sense. The town already loved him, and she was a part of that—whether or not he admitted it. People felt sorry for him, the poor widower left with an invalid daughter. The only value people ever saw in her was the fact that she was attractive. It was only that superficial aspect that seemed to intrigue them, and not any of her knowledge or deep understanding of the community.
That understanding was based on people constantly underestimating her. Since she was able to read lips, Sadie knew a lot more about what was happening with the people around town than anyone realized. Both the gossip and the truth.
Racking her brain, she tried to come up with something she could do for her father. Sadie’s eyes were drawn to the window and to the large clock in the middle of the town. With several hours before the celebration was set to begin, she considered that she had time to make something special for her father. It wouldn’t be much, but she wanted to show him that she was capable of doing something for him.
What can you make with just a few hours left? Come on, Sadie, you make things for people all of the time. You’ve saved up your money to contribute to the campaign, but there has to be something else you can do to help celebrate. When you give him the money, you can give him…What? What can you possibly make in just a few hours?
Her eyes widened as she came up with what seemed like the perfect surprise. Lifting her skirts, she hurried over to her desk to start writing out a list. He had never shown an interest in the things she knitted or crocheted for him—she had never even seen him wear any of the items. But a cake, well, he definitely had a sweet tooth. With the money she had made from selling some of the items to people around town, Sadie had enough money to buy all of the ingredients and enough time to make a cake. She finished the list, then headed toward the door. Stopping just long enough to critique her appearance in the mirror, Sadie made a few adjustments. Her chestnut brown hair was a little worse for wear since she had not taken particular care of it that morning. The dress was also fairly plain, but that didn’t matter so much. The green complimented the green in her hazel eyes. Once her hair was more presentable, Sadie hurried out the door.
Stepping out of the charming mayoral house, Sadie felt uncharacteristically positive about the day. Her father wasn’t exactly warm that morning, but he wasn’t nearly as cold as normal. They had discussed marriage a couple of times lately, so it was possible that he was starting to think of ways that she may be able to help him. Now, she hoped to convince him that she was able to do more. And the money she planned to give him at his birthday celebration would show that she was able to contribute in a more meaningful way. Not only did she want to wait for marriage, but her getting married would mean leaving her father alone with the house staff. At the same time, having a husband who could help her father might actually show him that she could be an asset. If the man her father found was a good man, Sadie knew that she might actually consider it, especially if it stood to help her father.
The breeze was unseasonably warm as she headed down the porch steps. As she clutched the list of ingredients and a few other items she wanted to purchase in her left hand, she reached up to make sure that her chestnut-colored curls hadn’t shifted too much after the last blast of wind. Looking up at the gathering clouds above her, Sadie knew that she needed to move faster. When she picked up the pace, she kept her head on a swivel to make sure she saw any horses or carriages before they got too close. It was a bit risky since the more rapid steps and wind would make it much harder to hear anyone warning her to move, but Sadie wanted to put a smile on her father’s face.
Reaching the general store, she relaxed for a moment. She reached up and patted her hair, then ran her hand down her dress to try to get rid of some of the dirt that had gotten on it as she hurried down the street.
As she stepped into the general store, though, Sadie almost immediately felt that something was wrong. Her hands reached down and brushed against her dress again, thinking they may be disapproving of the dirt. It didn’t help as that familiar feeling of being judged set in. Out of her periphery, she could see people watching her and talking. This was not exactly the reaction she expected—most people had some dirt on them, given it had been a while since the last rain. Trying to ignore the stares, she moved around the aisles, collecting the items she needed to make her father a cake with icing.
Maybe I should have thought about this earlier. They are probably judging me for being here instead of setting things up at home. I’m not exactly the host, and they know about my failings. Still, I should be at home. They are probably right.
Despite feeling even more self-conscious than normal, she managed to find everything needed to make the surprise cake. Once she reached the cashier, Sadie became more aware of the more negative nature of attention that she was attracting. There was some whispering around her, but she couldn’t make out any specific words or discussions. She was used to being judged, but the whispering was…not exactly normal. Beginning to sense that there was something else wrong, she tried to focus on what she was doing instead of the attention she was getting.
The wife of the store owner looked up from the counter, her graying hair in the latest style. Sadie’s heart sank a little. Whenever this woman acted as the cashier, she was always particularly condescending, treating her more like a child to be pitied than an adult. When the woman looked up and noticed her, though, there was a glint in her eye that suggested the older woman was feeling something else entirely. The immediate appearance of a forced smile was familiar, but there was something in her eyes that was off-putting. When she spoke, though, the older woman used the same exaggerated mouth movements and loud voice that tended to grate on Sadie’s nerves. “Ah, Miss Whitlock. It’s such a pleasure to see you again.” Her expression clearly contradicted her shallow pleasantries.
Sadie forced her own smile. Keeping her voice even and at a more normal volume, she replied, “Thank you, Missus Hamilton.”
She cast her eyes down as she watched the clerk go through the items she wanted to purchase. When the woman in front of her started muttering, Sadie lifted her head a little so that she could watch the woman’s lips moving.
“You think you’re better than us, but we know your secret. You may act like you are high and mighty, but we know about your easy virtue.”
“Excuse me?” Sadie said, drawing her eyebrows down to see if she could make sense of the muttered words.
The same insincere smile graced the woman’s face when she looked up. And she again spoke too loudly with exaggerated movements as she said, “Oh, nothing, dear. I was just doing the math aloud.” She tapped her temple as Sadie heard a few snickers from around them. “Getting older isn’t easy on the brain.” Then she looked down, resuming whatever she was muttering. “You are already such a simpleton, you probably won’t notice how much you have harmed your father with your brazen bad behavior.”
Realizing that the woman’s attitude had changed considerably since the last time she was at the general store, Sadie started looking around at the other patrons. It hadn’t been just her imagination. The other people were giving clearly disapproving looks. While this was different compared to the pity or superiority that they usually showed, it was not an improvement from the normal judgmental looks. When she met the eyes of the different patrons, they usually turned away from her, as if they didn’t want to have anything to do with her.
Her eyes started watching the lips of the people around her, and she saw that they were saying…some very slanderous things about her. She couldn’t make out all of the details, but she noticed several people mentioned Duncan Caddel. Her eyes narrowed as her mind started trying to piece together what was happening. The man had been trying to woo her since before she was of an age where marriage was a reasonable expectation. Gritting her teeth, Sadie turned her attention back to the woman in front of her, trying to put her focus on the surprise she was trying to make for her father. For the first time in her life, Sadie almost wished she wasn’t so adept at reading lips to pick up on the words that she hadn’t heard. The cashier seemed to be moving even slower than usual, and judging by what the old woman was saying, Sadie got the impression that it was intentional.
Hoping to make things feel a little more friendly, she said, “How is the family?”
The cashier looked up at her patrons, her nose slightly wrinkled with a look of disgust. “They are fine.” Immediately, she looked down and continued muttering, “I’m not going to discuss my loved ones with such a hussy. You can take your easy virtue elsewhere.”
Whether or not it was intentional, the cashier spoke loud enough to be able to understand what she was saying. As much as she wanted to just leave, Sadie had come into the store with a purpose. Hoping that remaining silent would be enough, she kept her mouth shut and waited for Missus Hamilton to finish totaling the goods.
Finally, Missus Hamilton looked up. “That’ll be ten dollars and fifty cents, Miss Whitlock.” The words were over-enunciated and loud enough that everyone in the place could hear the total being quoted for basic food items and a couple of extras.
Her mouth felt dry as Sadie looked around her. A few people were snickering, but most of them looked disgusted. Looking back at the clerk, she said, “I think you must have done the math wrong, Missus Hamilton.”
The older woman pursed her lips. Her condescension managed to get worse, talking almost as if her patron were a child. “I said, the total is ten dollars and fifty cents. If you can’t pay, perhaps you should be a bit more…discerning in your choices.”
“I-I’m sorry, but I’m certain that the total should be two dollars and fifty cents, Missus Hamilton.”
She made a clicking sound with her tongue, then folded her arms over her chest. “Are you saying I don’t know how to do my job? You, who hasn’t worked a day in her life?”
“I just know that the price for those items is clear. This is meant to be for my father’s birthday cake. Please check your math, and I’m sure that you’ll see it isn’t nearly as expensive as you initially calculated.”
The woman glared at her for a few moments. Without doing any additional work, Missus Hamilton finally said, “You are right, the total is two dollars and fifty cents. Please let your father know that I’ve given you a discount because I’m sure he can appreciate it.”
Handing over the cash, Sadie expressed her gratitude. “Thank you very much.” Even as she put the items in her bag, she could tell that the people around her were mumbling. It was not a good deal—in fact, Sadie paid more since two of the items were on sale—but she wasn’t about to argue. Not on her father’s birthday. Not when she wasn’t sure exactly what people were saying about her. The best thing to do would be to get away and deal with that problem later. Or hope that it blew over.
As she turned to leave, the clerk grabbed her wrist, squeezing a little too hard. “Make sure to tell your father a happy birthday from me.”
Sadie nodded. “I will. Now, will you please let go of my wrist?”
The woman pushed her hand away, and as soon as Sadie had turned to leave, she heard the woman say clearly, “I need to wash my hand after touching that harlot. I don’t know what Mr. Caddel sees in her, but I’m sure that girl is using her defect to make him pity her.”
Fighting the urge to turn around, Sadie saw several people laugh. She had no idea what was going on, but she hurried out of the store. Once she was out on the street, it felt like too many people were paying attention to her. Sadie noticed several people start to whisper as she passed, but of course, she couldn’t hear what they were saying. Holding her head up high, she tried to be confident instead of letting the whispers bother her. After all, she got used to people talking about her a long time ago. Clearly, this was something more sinister, but she wasn’t about to let people think that she had anything to be ashamed of. Whatever was being said, she knew that Duncan was the source of the rumors.
Today, she would celebrate her father. Tomorrow, Sadie would deal with whatever problem Duncan had created.
The staff acted strangely as she moved around the kitchen, working on the cake. She could hear the whispers around her, but Sadie did not have time to read their lips or pay attention to whatever rumor was spreading around her. What was important was getting the surprise cake finished for her father. Once it was in the oven, she headed to a corner of the kitchen. Usually, she would ask one of the staff to remove it, but Sadie was concerned that they were unsettled enough by the rumor that they might let the cake burn. Only after Sadie had removed the cake from the oven, did she feel that she was in good shape for the celebration. Carefully moving the cake from the pan to a plate, she prepared a few things to take upstairs. Of course, the staff wasn’t happy, but she tried to say that it was a surprise that she had to do for herself as she hurried out of the kitchen and up to her room.
Not long after she got to her room, Eliza knocked on the door. Sadie turned and looked as the only friendly member of staff smiled at her. The woman was nearly old enough to be her mother, but her blond hair easily hid any grays. Her soft brown eyes always helped to make Sadie feel like everything would be alright.
“Good afternoon, Miss Whitlock.” Her tone was normal—there was no shouting or over-exaggeration when she spoke to Sadie. “Is there anything I can do to help?”
Sadie’s eyes moved to the cake. “Actually, could you ice the cake? I’m afraid it took me a little longer than I thought it would. I want to finish but still make sure I’m presentable.”
Eliza walked toward the cake, making sure that Sadie could still see her lips. “Oh, you will look lovely, even if you have icing all over your face and dress.”
For the first time in what felt like forever, Sadie laughed. “Well, since my dress is silk, I’d best make sure that I keep it icing-free.”
The maid looked over at the dress, then back at the young woman. “Oh my, that is a gorgeous gown! But I know that you will make it look twice as lovely!”
“Thank you.” Sadie looked down to hide a slight blush on her face. It was so rare for anyone to be so nice, and she suspected that Eliza was being a bit overzealous in her praise. Still, she couldn’t help but feel a bit bashful at the compliment—especially as it made her think that other people might think so, too.
It took about an hour and a half to dress for the party while Eliza finished preparing the cake, but Sadie felt proud as she looked at herself in the mirror. The purple dress complimented her figure, and the lavender color was perfect for the delicate silk. It was definitely a bit much, but she wanted her father to be proud.
“My, but you are stunning. Just like your mother,” Eliza said behind her.
“Thank you, Eliza, but I can’t help but feel you are a bit biased.”
“Oh, pish. Everyone thinks it. I’m just one of the few who is willing to say it.”
With that, the maid left to handle other chores in preparation for the big celebration. Left to fuss over the little details, Sadie quickly looked for a distraction so that she didn’t think about possibly finding someone who might actually take a fancy to her.
Out of the corner of her eye, Sadie caught sight of the small stack of newspapers she had looked over recently. Whenever she was upset, Sadie would look through the advertisements for mail-order brides. The thought of going out West wasn’t unappealing, especially since she never felt like she fit into the community where she currently lived. It was just a distraction, though. The thought of leaving her father on his own was too much for her to ever act on it. Looking at the clock on her wall, she decided she had a few moments to indulge the fantasy though. It would help her feel a little better before heading down to a party where she knew that people would treat her unfairly—even without whatever rumor was swirling around her. For a few moments, she was happy to let her mind wander. Then, one ad in particular caught her attention.
Looking for a bride. Must be able and willing to take care of the home. My intention for the marriage is companionship. Where it goes from there will be up to how we get along over time. It would be nice to have someone who knows about ranches or is eager to learn.
Under that was his contact information. It was short and to the point. For a few moments, she was tempted to respond to him.
No, Sadie. Today is about your father. If things get worse, you can always consider it, but I don’t see how it can ever get to that point. Life could be so much rougher. Her fingers moved along the side of the ad. The man could be far too curt and cruel. The life he has to offer could be so much worse than the ignorance of the people here.
Sadie tucked a small envelope into the pocket of her dress. When she wished her father a happy birthday, she intended to present it with the cake. Patting it to make sure the envelope would not fall out, she checked herself one more time in the mirror. Then, with the cake in hand, she headed downstairs and out to the back of the house. Over the next half hour, Sadie tried to approach her father, but he seemed to be avoiding her. While he hadn’t been exactly warm that morning, the way he was acting now was much more like the cold man he had been when she was growing up.
When he stood on a small platform, her father had a large smile on his face. For a moment, she was hopeful that he was about to say something positive.
Clinking a fork against his glass, he attracted the attention of everyone at the party. “Ladies and gentlemen. Thank you so much for coming to my birthday celebration. As your mayor, I feel humbled and honored that you are spending your evening with me. And now I can bring you some measure of joy as you will be the first to learn that my daughter,” he turned and held up a hand to her, “is to be wed to Duncan Caddel next month.”
A warmth appeared next to her as Sadie was frozen where she stood. She had seen the words her father had spoken, even if she could not entirely hear them because of the low hum of the party around them. Her heart was beating entirely too fast as a familiar stench of whiskey and cigar smoke reached her nose. Turning, she looked into the cold blue eyes of the one man she had been avoiding for years. His lips were moving, but he was speaking too low for her to understand.
“I told you that I would have you. One way or another, I would make you mine. My, my, my, but you will look fine on my arm.” His eyes slid down her body, stopping at the front of her dress where the fancy lace portion of her dress hid her chest. Revulsion coursed through her, and she stepped away from him as he continued, “And with you, I can still do whatever I want. Something for my bed at home when I’m not away having my fun. All to think that one rumor about you getting too free with me could finally make you mine. I should have thought of that a long time ago.”
Shaking her head, Sadie knew that he didn’t realize she understood him. He had just admitted to sabotaging her life. Her father would never have considered the son of the saloon owner—it was a connection that her father would never have willingly accepted.
Unless he actually believed the rumors. Or worse, he simply wanted to stop them.
Of all the men who had proposed to her over the years, this was the only man who kept trying. The rest felt disrespected by being turned down by someone who was clearly flawed. This one had never been dissuaded by her constant rejection and near rudeness.
She turned to see her father as he walked over toward her, a forced smile barely masking the anger flashing in his eyes. Clearly, he had learned of the rumor when he had left their home earlier. And his solution was to give in to what the horrible creature in front of her wanted.
Her father could not have made it clearer just how little he actually cared about her at the moment.
A sense of anger and resentment bubbled up in her. The cake was forgotten nearby; she turned and ran into the house, not willing to allow anyone else to sully her reputation further. She knew that her father would not follow her, and she would simply ignore anyone else who came to her door.
As her feet dashed up the stairs to her room, a plan started forming in her mind. When Eliza knocked about ten minutes later, Sadie knew exactly what to ask of the only friend she still had left in the world. Handing her a letter, Sadie asked her to take it to the post office the next day, giving her no details about what it was.
Eliza promised to deliver it, then disappeared.
Alone, Sadie shut and locked her door, refusing to open it even when her father made threats from the other side several hours later. She could not hear the exact threats, but he was banging more than loud enough for her to know when he was there. Glaring at his shadow under the door, Sadie knew what she had to do. She was not going to allow him to force her into a marriage with such a detestable beast.
And in that moment, she loathed her father.
No matter what I do, it is never good enough. I’ll save us both any further misery so you can die alone in this house with the memories that have anchored you to the past.
With that thought, she removed the envelope with the money that she had earned over the last year. It wasn’t a fortune, but it would have been a sizable donation to his campaign. Now, it would be exactly what she needed to escape from a town that had never felt like home and a man who had clearly never cared for her.
“The Scarred Rancher’s Deaf Bride” is an Amazon Best-Selling novel, check it out here!
Sadie, daughter of Boulder Ridge’s beloved mayor, is more of a burden than kin to him, a sentiment that deepened by her near-deafness following her mother’s death in childbirth. While also facing relentless judgment from the townsfolk, rumors of her alleged affair with the saloon owner’s son start to spread. Prioritizing his reputation, the mayor forces Sadie into a marriage with a man with nefarious intentions, leading Sadie to finally take fate into her own hands. The time to escape her cruel future arrives and she flees as a mail-order bride to a rancher West.
Will she find her own path, or is she as helpless as everyone thinks she is?
Conrad Green, a honey rancher with a life full of hurt, refuses to sell his parent’s land. After losing his father, Conrad endured the devastating loss of his mother and sister in a tragic house fire, leaving him scarred both inside and out. After several years of living on his own, he decided that the best way to stave off his growing loneliness was to find a partner, even in the form of a correspondence bride.
Can his rugged heart find peace and most importantly, the unexpected hope of love?
When their lives fatefully intertwine, Sadie and Conrad discover a shared resilience born from lives lived on society’s fringes. United by their scars and a common understanding of what it’s like to be an outcast, they find solace in each other’s company, defying the odds stacked against them. As they forge a bond stronger than the judgments of society, the town’s prejudices along with their family’s dark schemes arise to tear them down once more. With stakes high and manipulative figures entering their path, can Sadie and Conrad rise above the whispers of doubt to find the love they both deserve? Or will the shadows of their pasts tear them apart before they can grasp the happiness within reach?
“The Scarred Rancher’s Deaf Bride” is a historical western romance novel of approximately 60,000 words. No cheating, no cliffhangers, and a guaranteed happily ever after.
OFFER: A BRAND NEW SERIES AND 2 FREEBIES FOR YOU!
Grab my new series, "Whispers of the Western Wind", and get 2 FREE novels as a gift! Have a look here!
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